Eminem in Legal Battle with Ozempic-Dispensing Pergola Company Over Name “Slim Shady”

 

DETROIT, MI — In a first-of-its-kind lawsuit, rap icon Eminem has filed suit against a wellness startup for allegedly infringing on his trademarked persona by naming its GLP-1-dispensing backyard shade structure Slim Shady.

The pergola, which debuted last month at the Twelve Oaks Mall, invites customers to “stand under the shade and shed your shame.” It features misting fans, bamboo accents, and an AI-generated voice that greets users with lines like, “You only get one shot… per week, subcutaneously.”

According to court filings, the Slim Shady structure is part of a larger rollout from TrimShade Technologies, a “bio-hacking patio company” that aims to “merge backyard design with the pursuit of slimmer torsos and quieter self-loathing.”

“It’s wild to see my legacy hanging off a pergola next to a citronella candle,” noted Eminem. “The Slim Shady persona was about rebellion, not carb reduction.”

“We weren’t referencing Eminem,” claimed company spokesperson Darren Petsokey. “The pergola is literally shady, and it helps you get slim. It’s wordplay, not theft,” said Petsokey, before adding, “Please don’t print that we’re based in Detroit.”

Eminem’s lawyers disagree, arguing that the rapper’s likeness and lyrics were used “in a manner that confuses consumers into thinking Marshall Mathers endorses suburban semi-privacy structures that inject people with semaglutide.”

The installation, currently roped off with yellow legal tape, has become an unlikely tourist attraction. Visitors report the AI still runs occasional voice glitches, mumbling distorted bars such as, “His palms are sweaty, blood sugar steady, mom’s spaghetti portion reduced already.”

TrimShade has filed a countersuit claiming artistic parody, insisting that “Slim Shady is not a rapper but a lifestyle pavilion for those who’ve lost 30 pounds and found themselves.”

A trial date has not been set, though sources say the judge has already ordered both parties to “please stop rhyming during testimony.”

At press time, TrimShade was reportedly fast-tracking a rebrand — unveiling early concepts for Slim Patio, The Weight Shade, and Marshall Mathers LP (Limited Pergola).

More to Come.