Following Weight Watchers’ Rebranding to WW; Chris Christie to go by “CC”
The move comes as the governor formerly known as Christie seeks to fashion himself a new image post political career.
“It’s more about losing the baggage than the pounds,” said CC’s personal branding expert, Floyd Danville. “Turns out having your cronies close four perfectly good lanes of the George Washington bridge as political payback leaves your approval rating in the toilet.”
“The governor’s been branching out with new hobbies like scrapbooking, and just last weekend auditioned to be the coxswain for Dragon Boat club the NJ Night Furies. He was pretty decent for a first timer.”
The move is yet another addition to the storied history of figures sporting the CC moniker. The former governor has long admired the ability of Yankees ace CC Sabathia to throw high heat despite having the physique of a post Batman Val Kilmer. He’s a well-known admirer of CC Deville of Glam metal pioneers Poison; as well as an ardent fan of Bette Midler’s turn as mercurial songbird CC Bloom in Beaches — “a tour de force. I wept like an unfed newborn.”
CC himself seems to have designs on remaining in the spotlight for years to come; eyeing an opening on TV’s graveyard shift. “If that bedwetter Huckabee can get his own talk show, I can at least snag an informercial or two,” said the big-boned Springsteen enthusiast, outlining his plan to replace Henry Winkler as a reverse mortgage pitchman. “The Fonz should be sweating bullets.”
More to come.
