REPORT: Saying “You Shouldn’t Have” to a Man Carrying Flowers Found to Be the World's Most Effective Joke

 

THE HAGUE, NETHERLANDS — In a finding that has rocked the comedic landscape, a new report from the International Humor Institute has identified the phrase “You shouldn’t have” when directed at a man carrying flowers as the most effective joke ever recorded.

The study, which analyzed the reactions of over 5,000 participants across 12 countries, found that this simple quip edged out longstanding favorites like “That’s what she said” and “Sounds like my first time” to claim the title of the world's top laugh-getter.

“Our team initially thought we’d see a stronger showing from classic jokes,” said lead researcher Dr. Floyd Chucklehead. “But nothing prepared us for the overwhelming response to this floral jest. The data doesn’t lie: this joke slaps harder than ‘Pony’ by Ginuwine.”

The report notes that the joke’s success hinges on its perfect blend of irony and social expectation. Researchers observed that 99.9% of participants burst into laughter upon hearing the phrase, with the study’s findings being described as “comedy gold,” with 93% of participants labeling the experience as "gut-busting" or "side-splitting," while 85% recounted their laughter as "unstoppable," and in some cases, "piss funny."

Florists worldwide have already felt the impact of this discovery. “We’ve seen a 300% increase in flower sales since the study went public,” said Flora Greenleaf, owner of Petal Pushers, a charming Rotterdam flower shop known for its exquisite arrangements. “People aren’t even buying these for their loved ones anymore—they’re just grabbing bouquets to try out the joke on their friends and family. We’re struggling to keep up.”

In response to the study, comedy clubs from New York to Tokyo have begun incorporating “Flower Nights,” where patrons are encouraged to bring flowers to unleash the ultimate joke on unsuspecting strangers. Early reports suggest that these events are proving to be wildly popular, with some participants laughing so hard they nearly choke on their drinks.

As the world grapples with this unexpected shift in comedic paradigms, one thing is clear: the phrase “You shouldn’t have” has become more than just a polite response—it’s now the apex of humor. How long it will hold this crown remains to be seen, but for now, the world can’t seem to get enough.

More to come.