Olympic Sensation Raygun to Star in Reboot “Breaking Bad 2”

Paris, France – In a move that has left both TV critics and sports enthusiasts scratching their heads, Olympic breaking sensation Rachel “B-Girl Raygun” Gunn has been cast as the lead in the highly anticipated reboot of the critically acclaimed series Breaking Bad.

“At its core, Breaking Bad is the story of a regular but desperate person pushed into committing hideous acts,” noted series creator Vince Gilligan. “I see no person more qualified to continue that tradition than Raygun.”

This surprising casting decision comes as a lucrative bookend to Raygun’s meteoric rise, which followed her viral Olympic breaking performance. Her routine, which has been described as “the most high-profile depiction of utter mediocrity,” catapulted her into the global spotlight, despite the widespread confusion about why, exactly, she was there in the first place.

The reboot, tentatively titled Breaking Bad 2: Breaking Even Harder, will reportedly follow Raygun’s character as she navigates the treacherous world of underground breaking competitions, all while struggling to maintain her position as a cultural studies professor. Fans are eagerly awaiting to see how Gilligan will blend the intense drama of the original series with Raygun’s uniquely unremarkable dance moves and academic exploits.

“I’ve always been a fan of the show,” Raygun said at a press conference, where she attempted to pop-and-lock her way through her excitement. “I can’t wait to bring my signature breaking style of “abysmal chic” to the role.”

Critics, meanwhile, are divided. Some are calling the casting a “bold and innovative choice,” while others are simply perplexed. “It’s as if the producers held an audition for the most untalented, ill-fitting person they could find, and Raygun somehow beat out a unicyclist with no legs” remarked TMZ casting expert Johnny Ottoman.

Whether Raygun’s transition from Olympic underdog to TV antihero will pay off remains to be seen. But if nothing else, Breaking Bad 2 promises to be a spectacle – for better or worse. Almost certainly worse.

More to come.