Involuntary celibacy to rebrand as “Intercourse Fasting”

Bowling Green, OH—In a delightful twist that will leave virgins jumping for joy, the controversial label of "Incel" is about to undergo a much-needed makeover.

The term "Involuntary Celibacy," used to describe those men hopelessly lacking in game, shall henceforth be known as "Intercourse Fasting."

"We're the only community whose name highlights factors completely beyond our control," noted Cliff Schaumburg, president of K.I.N.K.(Kindred Incel Network of Kindness). "It's akin to labeling Italians as "Exceedingly Expressive" or Mormons as "Incurable Stiffs.""

Dating back to 5th century, different types of fasting have gained popularity due to perceived health benefits. Alongside fasting from social media, dopamine, and alcohol, abstaining from copulation has emerged as a logical choice.

"This repositioning reframes sex as a deliberate choice to avoid, rather than being rejected by it," Schaumburg continued with a gleam of hope in his eyes.

With this rebranding effort, the world of involuntary celibacy hopes to shed its negative connotations and embark on a journey of newfound empowerment. So, let the era of "intercourse fasting" commence, where men proudly abstain from the carnal pleasures life has to offer.

More to come.