Iowa Caucus Results Deemed Inconclusive; Winner To be Determined by Rock, Paper, Scissors.
Given the technical errors of the vote tabulation app, Democratic presidential aspirants have agreed to take matters into their hands — literally.
"Just like healthcare and education should be, Rock, Paper, Scissors is free," noted Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders. "Free is good. Not free is bad."
South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg reluctantly accepted Sanders' challenge at Rock Paper Scissors, but not before positing the Iowa Caucus could be better settled using another time honored childhood tiebreaker.
"If you grew up as an overachieving but humility-filled millennial like I did, Rock, Paper, Scissors might seem the final word in an argument," began the fresh faced Capricorn. "But in reality, hopscotch is a far fairer first step in the ever meandering struggle to bring schoolyard closer together, not further apart."
More to come.
South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg reluctantly accepted Sanders' challenge at Rock Paper Scissors, but not before positing the Iowa Caucus could be better settled using another time honored childhood tiebreaker.
"If you grew up as an overachieving but humility-filled millennial like I did, Rock, Paper, Scissors might seem the final word in an argument," began the fresh faced Capricorn. "But in reality, hopscotch is a far fairer first step in the ever meandering struggle to bring schoolyard closer together, not further apart."
More to come.
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