WeWork to relaunch as Parisian Anti-Union Task Force, “Oui, Work.”

Paris, France —  In perhaps the most bizarre second act imaginable, disgraced tech unicorn WeWork is pivoting to become a French Union busting riot squad, called “Oui, Work.”

Given the failure of its core business, WeWork explored a range of alternate business ventures — from a personal development practice (WeGrow); to a subscription wifeswapping service (WeSwing) — before settling on becoming a head-kicking crowd control arm.

“There were plenty of viable directions, explained outgoing Oui, Work CEO Adam Neumann. “But we found no more evergreen business than strong-arming French people to get back to work.”

The move comes as French President Emmanuel Macron seeks to curb the “protest first, negotiate later,” tendency of French workers in order to reinvigorate the national economy.

"Oui, Work is our way of cracking the right skulls necessary to remain competitive as a non Boris-Led/basketcase European economy," noted the fresh faced president. 

“There’s a myth that we French sit around all day drinking Bourdeaux and little else," Macron continued. “But we’re also well-versed at parkour, fencing, and lovemaking too. But I digress."

More to come.