Softboi Faux Wokeness Peaks Following Leaked Ernst & Young Dress Code

Hoboken, NJ — Finance giant Ernst & Young landed itself in hot water recently after material instructing women how to dress, in a 2018 training seminar, resurfaced in a recent Huffington Post expose. 

The presentation seemed to resemble Sharia law more so than it did an affable take on office conduct, and boy did people take to the Internet streets to express their discontent. And, while the article ruffled many feathers online, no one was more disturbed by the ever emerging number of softbois taking to their soapboxes to social media. 

The softboi, of course, referring to the type of “pro-feminist” men who don’t actually care about female empowerment. 

“This isn’t Waco,” said Jeremy Struthers, in a recent LinkedIn post, making a troubling comparison to the West Texas cult leader, David Koresh. Struthers, a part of the Go To Market team at fintech company, Adyen, was “deeply saddened” by HuffPo’s revelations, but when The Daily Weekly attempted to follow up with him, he failed to respond to any texts other than with the letter “K,” and didn’t pick up any of our calls. He did however post a picture of tree that lost all of its leaves to his Instagram account with the caption, “Change is life’s greatest gift,” within minutes of us reaching out to him.  

Colin Finlayson, was another latte sipping male who took to his own Twitter account to decry the outrage visited upon working women in “2019 for fuck’s sake,” forgetting about the fact that the even in question happened in 2018. In a great twist of fate, his bio features a neat little tidbit from notorious masochist, Charles Bukowski.  

The male outrage online would be a nice sign of the change of times, but Senior Sociological researcher at Rutgers University, Trent Woodman, has a more concise explanation. “Any guy expressing outrage about this online, is desperately looking for sex,” he said. “Just look at the bands they listen to on their Spotify profiles. It’s like they think Ian Curtis from Joy Division knew the secret to romance, before he offed himself,” he went on to explain. 

No word yet as to the success rate of men feigning outrage online in attempts to get laid, but let’s just say we’re not holding out hope.