Breaking: Milkshakes Bring all the Boys to Scotland Yard
The trend known as “Milkshaking” has seen lactose laden treats repurposed as missiles to decorate the suits of right leaning political figures Brexit party leader Nigel Farage, and former English Defence Party Leader Tommy Robinson.
“We’re taking this very seriously,” noted Scotland Yard Commissioner of Confectionary Weaponry Vance Madras. "What began with pretty pedestrian flavors has evolved into banana salted caramel and even an avocado foie gras... this is no joke.”
“We haven’t been this busy since it was suspected Theresa threw a Yorkie at Boris. Turns out, it was just a dog turd.”
When pressed for advice on which throwing technique creates the most impactful splash radius, Madras was coy about details, yet seemed to be open to providing instruction — but not for free.
He continued with a knowing smile, “I could teach you, but I would have to charge.”
More to come.
