Study Reveals ‘Randy’ as Name Most Popular Amongst Neo-Nazi Groups

Ann Arbor, Michigan - In a study done by a research group at the University of Michigan, social scientists deemed that the truncated, playful version of the common name “Randall” is the most prevalent name in the groups of unfortunate white men intending to carry out Adolf Hitler’s ill thought quest to ride the world of people smarter than himself.

Abe Zitman, lead researcher in the study, found an uncanny occurence of the name amongst this undereducated subsection of polite society while researching related groups local to Michigan and surrounding states.

For instance, a poll taken at Michigan International Speedway, an official NASCAR racetrack in nearby Brooklyn, Michigan, revealed a whopping 43% of males named, “Randy,” were in attendance at a recent race was, prompting Zitman, a native New Yorker himself to joke, “That’s not the kind of race I’m used to in my Brooklyn.”

Interestingly, a sparing few Randys have taken leadership roles within their organizations, though they are universally described as “good men” by their peers. A further dive into the name revealed that and overwhelming majority of these racist men drive Ford pickup trucks, which inevitably draws back to Henry Ford’s infamous anti-semitism, leading researchers to further believe that most of the Randys are the venerable workhorses for their outfits.

“They’re just a bunch of really dumb men, who work for some less dumb, but still dumb men. If I’m putting it bluntly,” states Zitman, concluding his study with a vow to keep tabs on any Randys he comes across.

As for his next move, Zitman is to study the types of intellectual activities, people who go by “Randall” tend to occupy their time with, and just what makes them so pompous to do such things.