Commuter Delighted to not be Flipped Off Once During Morning Drive

Silicon Valley, CA — In the San Francisco Bay Area, it’s not uncommon to battle commute times of an hour or more. What is also not uncommon is encountering a few surly motorists while navigating the clogged arteries of asphalt abundant in Northern California. And, it’s an occurrence that can drive more level headed commuters more than a little bonkers.

However, one such commuter, Stephanie Sampleton, a 32-year-old woman from the sleepy town of Pleasanton, California, found herself experiencing an anomaly on an otherwise normal drive to work. 

“Normally, it’s like riding along a bunch of War Boys from that movie Mad Max. It's just too bad there's no Doof Warrior, but instead there are a lot of douchey truck drivers, lowered Honda Civics and terrible Tesla vanity plates. And, they all want to cut me off in my pathetic crossover SUV? No thanks,” said Sampleton, who pilots a Mazda CX5, a car that scores relatively low on anyone’s hype meter.   

Still, the thing that bothers Ms. Sampleton most is how often her fellow commuters extend their middle fingers toward her. She has a self-professed, irrational reaction to the gesture that causes immediate and blinding rage, to go along with a string of expletives that she shouts out loud, to no one in particular. This of course makes for quite a hoarse voice when she finally does get into work.  

“But on Tuesday morning, September 13^th 2018, I didn’t get so much as a sideways glance , let alone any ill-meaning #1 sign,” said Ms. Sampleton. For someone who drives a Mazda that barely classifies as an SUV, this is the all too infrequent win in the drudgery of her weekly days. 

So, as it turns out the light is not, as they say, ‘at the end of the tunnel’. It is in the hearts and minds of the more polite road warriors driving along U.S. Interstate 680 in Northern California. This reporter would thus surmise that it’s those sitting in such traffic who are indeed the ones awaited in Valhalla.