Job Candidate Told Cultural Fit Optional

El Segundo, CA – When Tom Middleton walked into the lobby of D&D Marketing, he expected to find an innovative company with inspiring décor lining the walls and cultural champions running about. He even thought he might encounter a few well-dressed millennials with energetic ideas about social presence and shared media creation. 

And find all of that, he did. Awash with hypebeasts, Yeezy Boosts, Gucci Gangs, a large sampling of low carb snacks, and a variety of Sonos speakers bumping Tekashi69’s chart toppers, D&D certainly has it’s finger on the pulse, according to Mr. Middleton. 

But, what he was surprised to find is the company policy stating that he would not have to opt in to any of that mumbo jumbo in the first place. Within the first five minutes of the interview, the recruiter informed him of that no individual employee od D&D Marketing is required to assuage to the cultural norms of the millennial surroundings within the agency. And, there he was, all prepared to deep throat the full weight of societal pressures now forced upon young members of the workforce in these modern times. 

“You know, it was nice that I didn’t have to whip out my JUUL at the interview, to show off my flavor of choice,” Middleton said, who would later reveal his favorite flavor to be Crème Brule. “I mean, what do I know about culture anyway? I’m a white kid from the suburbs,” Middleton said, feeling the need to further explain his relief at having dodged any real attempts to assimilate. He went so far as to even show this reporter his #ShingyChallenge submission, which he felt left a little to be desired. Suffice to say that sometimes doing it for the ‘Gram isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. 

When asked whether he even liked the culture of D&D, Middleton was not at liberty to say, as he was on the fence about the job itself. He was even less certain about his desire to actually fit into the culture, which he then remembered he didn’t even really have to do in the first place. When probed further about what type of company he wants to work for, Middleton simply offered, “I don’t know. Some place chill.”