35-Year-Old Man Beams Over Re-emergence of Ranch Dressing in his Life

Raleigh, North Carolina – It’d seem like a normal Tuesday to anyone else, but to Fred Thompson, it marked the umpteenth time he’d been served a meal with a side of ranch in a little plastic cup. One dip was all it took and the chicken tenders he’d ordered suddenly turned into tender slices of heaven. 

“I don’t know, I guess I was trying to be healthy all these years. Turns out that was stupid,” said Thompson, as he reflected on his decades long stance against ranch dressing. 

When pressed as to why the sudden change of heart, to the point where he’s full on embracing slathering that white creamy sauce all over his meat, Thompson had a simple answer:

“I mean, it’s just fucking tasty. That’s it.” 

Truly an eye opening retort, from a man once in denial over the tastability of a certain foodstuff. Looks like this is an open and shut case: Ranch is here to stay.